Unlocking Joy and Purpose in an Unexpected Pregnancy

I am sharing my experience in a 4-part series. My Comeback Story entails my pregnancy, birthing experience, postpartum depression, custody, and other challenges that contributed to my absence. For more details, read about it here.

Introduction

Embracing the journey of pregnancy is a transformative experience that can bring immense joy and fulfillment. Whether you were planning to conceive or were pleasantly surprised by this unexpected blessing, pregnancy holds the potential to unlock a world of profound growth and self-discovery. In this blog post, we will explore how you can navigate the beautiful path of unexpected pregnancy and unleash the joy it brings. Let’s embark on this empowering journey together!

My Journey of the Unexpected

Where it All Began

Before we get into it, let me tell you a bit about what ignited this blog post. My partner and I started dating in the later part of 2022. We fell in love almost immediately, as our foundation was built on friendship reigning from our connectedness of shared trauma and life experiences. I will admit that there was a lot of spontaneity early on in our relationship, but we both expressed the desire to be together (officially), start a life together supporting one another, start a family, and tie the knot. A few months later (April 2023), we would move in together and begin our lives as one (and no, we weren’t married yet).

As life happened, we celebrated all of our wins, big and small. We got our place together, and we set individual goals and met them. One of those wins was that he enrolled in school and began fulfilling his passion (preparing to become a substance abuse counselor) while I buckled down and focused on expanding my knowledge in holistic health. We continued on our path, separately AND together! We never forget that we ARE both individuals experiencing this amazing life together with our own individual goals and expectations. We nurture that individuality as it makes our bond that much stronger. We both share the same innate desire–to help those in need.

The Honeymoon Phase

We never lost sight of those things that we talked about, and were actively making things happen on several fronts. We wanted a family together, and that was just something we KNEW would happen. It seemed that our ‘honeymoon’ phase would never end, nor would the fun. Practically speaking, we tried to manifest that family early on, and we knew it would only be a matter of time. Nearly two years later, we got nothing!

So the excitement of the possibility of being pregnant slowly declined. For me, it got to a point I was just like “ah, whatever”. I got tired of my body playing tricks on me, the highs and lows, and honestly didn’t want to play that game anymore. So sex was just a day-to-day thing we still enjoyed, hopeful for a baby, but wasn’t holding my breath! It began to take a toll on us both in various ways, and we began to question our bodies, our ability to reproduce, and at times, it was somewhat straining on our relationship.

The Miracle in Disguise

Other things began to happen in the early part of 2024, we worked on our finances, he really got deep into his studies, and we prepared to buy our first home. To our surprise, we made it to approval in just under 45 days. We began prepping for our new home, and we even got a little pup (his name is Nemesis). There were several amazing things happening week after week. The week of mother’s day, I had an appointment at the VA (Department of Veteran Affairs), and needed to have x-rays done. Due to my period being late, radiology needed to verify whether I was pregnant or not before they could proceed. I tinkled in a cup of course, and went back down to radiology waiting for them to let me know if they could do the x-rays.

The tech called for me, and I told my partner, “well I guess that’s a no!”. As soon as we made it through the doors past the waiting area, she stopped and informed me that they advise that I come back at a later date, as they couldn’t proceed today. I was confused, and she told me that my pregnancy test came back positive, TWICE! After actively trying to conceive for nearly two years, I was in complete shock, and I felt like I was thrown into some fantasy land. I was at a complete stand still, and everything around me just stopped. I literally thought a joke was being played on me, and confirmed the seriousness, more than three times, lol!!!

The Initial Celebration

Embracing Change: The Beauty of the Unexpected

Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. Just like a seed planted in fertile soil, an unexpected pregnancy can be seen as nature’s gift, offering us an opportunity for personal growth and transformation. It may feel overwhelming at first, but remember that within every challenge lies the potential for immense joy and fulfillment.

• Reflective Statement: Take a moment to pause and reflect on your emotions. What are your initial thoughts and feelings about this unexpected news? Allow yourself to acknowledge them without judgment.
• The Seed Analogy: Think of your unexpected pregnancy as a seed that has been planted in the garden of your life. Nurture it with love, care, and positivity, and watch it grow into something beautiful.

As things began manifesting for us, I remember saying to my partner, “it’d be funny if we get the house, the puppy, and after we move we find out that I’m pregnant”. Little did we know! We got the news before the move, and right before Mother’s day. How beautiful is that?!

Embracing Self-Care: Nurturing Your Body and Mind

During this extraordinary journey, it is crucial to prioritize self-care, nurturing both your physical and emotional well-being. By doing so, you create a harmonious environment for yourself and your growing baby.

• Holistic Health Practices: Explore gentle exercises such as prenatal yoga or walking to keep your body active while connecting with your baby. Engage in deep breathing exercises or meditation to cultivate inner peace and reduce stress.
• Emotional Wellness: Pregnancy can bring forth a myriad of emotions. Allow yourself to express these feelings openly and seek support from loved ones or a professional if needed. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and emotional release.
• Nourishing Nutrition: Pay attention to your diet, ensuring you consume a variety of nutrient-rich foods. Consult with a healthcare provider or nutritionist to create a balanced meal plan that supports both you and your baby’s needs.

I was worried why I was so irritable after such good news. I dug deep into pregnancy articles, and realized I wasn’t alone. I shared the information with my partner, and let him know about all the raging hormones, lol. I’ve eased up a bit, and I am sure he’s pleased. We generally have a routine, to include morning meditation, daily walks, and rest. My partner was adamant about me staying in shape for my wellbeing as well as for the health of the baby, so he stays consistent with walking daily. He lights incense, and plays calming music throughout the day. He cooks me nutritious meals (he cooks way better than I do!), and supports me in all the ways he can. He is great and ensures that I am nurturing my mind, body, and soul everyday. What’s more? He does it all with love.

Finding Support: Building a Strong Network

Surrounding yourself with a supportive network is essential during this transformative time. Seek out individuals who can provide guidance, empathy, and encouragement as you navigate the unexpected joy of pregnancy.

• Partner Support: Share your feelings and concerns with your partner. Together, you can strengthen your bond and embrace this journey as a team.
• Community Connection: Connect with other expectant parents through local support groups or online communities. Sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and forming friendships can be invaluable sources of support.
• Professional Guidance: Consider seeking the guidance of a doula, midwife, or prenatal counselor who specializes in supporting individuals on their pregnancy journeys. These professionals can provide expert advice and emotional support tailored to your unique needs.

My care was initiated at the VA, where I was assigned to a maternity care specialist. She will be my POC (point of contact) for all things regarding my pregnancy. She sent a consult over to someone within the complimentary alternative medicine department of the VA (which I didn’t even knew existed!). So I am in great hands!

When I began living a more holistic lifestyle, I often fantasized about the idea of a natural birth. For me this signified strength, endurance, dedication, and ultimately the epitome of a woman. I imagined allowing my body to go with its natural flow, unaltered, to bring forth new life. For this pregnancy, it will become a reality. I’ve decided to have a natural home waterbirth.

After doing my research, I’ve found an amazing practice called WOMBS, White Owl Midwifery & Birth Services, with an outstanding variety of team members that each have their own specialty area. The midwife (and owner), Cher Durham, is supported by her team ranging from doulas, herbalists, placenta encapsulation specialists, and more! Reiki is even offered as an additional service, and she’s even partnered with a local photographer (Rustic Iris Photography) to capture the beautiful moments of childbirth and delivery. I have my consultation this week, and will know more after that visit.

If you reside in Eastern NC and you’re interested in a homebirth, you may quickly realize the lack of resources and options your have! When I began my initial search, the bulk of my options were in the Triangle area, and Charlotte. Things are a little quieter, slower-paced, and serene here in Eastern NC, and thus, some services are hard to come by.

At the time of this edit, today (August 5, 2024) will be the third time visiting with Cher. I highly recommend WOMBS, and couldn’t have been more pleased with the experience I’ve had working with her and her team. I’ve spoken directly to Cher (midwife), Chris (birth assistant), Neisha (placenta encapsulator), Nicole (herbalist), and Cassandra (practice administrator) at some point.

My appointments feel more like visiting family rather than a doctor’s appointment. We spend time catching up, discussing any problems I’ve had since my last visit, solutions for those problems, and just enjoying good conversation. The conclusion of my appointment is checking vitals, listening to the baby, and receiving good-to-know info for the following weeks ahead.

I’ve always had amazing support from my family and loved ones, and now, my extended family at WOMBS. I can’t wait for the journey that lies ahead!

Embracing the Unknown: Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

As you embark on this unexpected journey of pregnancy, it is natural to feel uncertainty about what lies ahead. However, remember that within you lies an innate wisdom that will guide you every step of the way.

• Trusting Intuition: Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts. Your body knows how to nurture and grow new life; have faith in its ability to guide you through this incredible process.
• Surrendering Control: Embrace the beauty of surrendering control and allowing yourself to flow with the natural rhythm of pregnancy. Release any expectations or preconceived notions, and instead, embrace the present moment with open arms.

My partner and I have wanted this for a very long time, and even got discouraged when things didn’t seem to happen on our time. Some things are beyond us, and we may not know in those moments, but it’s for our greater good. We will welcome our baby with love in a new (much larger) home, with his or her (we’re hoping for a boy) siblings, and two amazing fur bros (Yang and Nemesis). Where there’s an ending, there’s always a new beginning. We’re closing the chapter on what has been, and are slowing walking into the new chapter of what’s to come! So this pregnancy is right on time!

Unleashing Joy: Celebrating Your Unique Journey

Every pregnancy is a unique and beautiful journey. Embrace the joy of the unexpected and celebrate the miracles that unfold within you.

Our (my partner and I) journey is a beautiful one. We are both recovered addicts, experienced in mental health and life traumas. We both have failed, made horrible decisions, have hurt ourselves and those we love. We both were on our own journey of discovery, leading to the unknown. We were at our lowest, always running to all the wrong people and places to fill a need, with all the wrong things. Now, we live in manifestation, we’re doers, making great, positive things happen. Everything we’ve ever wanted, we receive! Who’d ever imagine that we would cross paths and create a life of happiness, sobriety, and work towards making a positive impact on people like us who have suffered. The good AND the bad led us here to this exact moment, and it’s worth celebrating! We are truly grateful.

Conclusion

Unexpected pregnancies hold immense potential for personal growth, self-discovery, and joy. By embracing change, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, trusting your inner wisdom, and celebrating your unique journey, you can unleash the joy of the unexpected in pregnancy. Remember, this transformative experience is an opportunity for profound love and connection with yourself and your growing baby. Embrace the beauty of the unexpected and embark on this extraordinary journey with open arms. May it bring you immeasurable happiness and fulfillment!

Are you expecting an unexpected child? Are you preggo?

Share your initial thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy below. I’d love to hear from other moms out there!

We’ve got this!!!